OK. I know you're sick to death of all this hockey stuff. It's almost over. Really. That said, I wanna give you something besides my Hockey Obsession, so here’s a link to “The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers).” Examples:
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
[…]
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Ooooh. The mind boggles, it does.
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