Targets

Via memeorandum (No Quarter)… THE best Obama satirical site yet: “Best Obama Facts.” And Hoo-Boy, is it ever filled with chunky goodness! A sampling:

Best Heroic Truths About Obama

1. Every now and then, Obama opens his eyes and the world springs into existence.

2. When a tree falls in the forest, Obama hears it.

3. Obama can clap with one hand.

[…]

8. "Obama" is the very first word in the English language to be a verb, adjective, noun, pronoun, adverb, interjection, superlative and pronad. (Pronad is a new category made specifically for the word "Obama" so its power can be fully realized).

[…]

18. Obama always overpays his taxes because he believes that the government will find a better use for his money than he ever could.

19. When Obama rids the world of nuclear weapons, the red button in his office will control the thermostats in American homes.

[…]

44. Obama smokes so you don't have to.

45. Obama's cigarettes have been registered at the EPA as a renewable power source contributing 5,000 Megawatts of electricity to the national power grid every time he takes a draw.

Obama and the Downtrodden

[…]

2. Obama owns an expensive Sleep Number Bed but sleeps on an off-brand mattress in the corner in order to be down with the masses.

[…]

7. Obama once had a chance to save 10% on car insurance by switching to Geico but he said "no" because that would mean a sellout to corporate interests.

And you know there’s more… including some fine Photoshop work!

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Now this is way-cool: “Laser Gunship Fires; 'Deniable' Strikes Ahead?” Excerpt:

Boeing announced today the first ever test firing of a real-life ray gun that could become US special forces' way to carry out covert strikes with "plausible deniability."

In tests earlier this month at Kirtland Air Force Base, New Mexico, Boeing's Advanced Tactical Laser -- a modified C-130H aircraft -- "fired its high-energy chemical laser through its beam control system. The beam control system acquired a ground target and guided the laser beam to the target, as directed by ATL's battle management system."

[…]

The Advanced Tactical Laser, weighing twelve thousand pounds and mounted in a Hercules transport plane, is intended to give Special Forces Command "ultra-precision strike capability" against a wide range of ground targets. Its power is somewhere in the hundred-kilowatt range.

According to the developers, the accuracy of this weapon is little short of supernatural. They claim that the pinpoint precision can make it lethal or non-lethal at will. For example, they say it can either destroy a vehicle completely, or just damage the tires to immobilize it.

Much more at the link… including Boeing’s claim that the new laser would allow Special Operators to conduct strikes with “plausible deniability.” About which, the author of the linked article seems to think is a bad thing. Not me… I love plausible deniability, coz it has definite advantages. I can see Dana Perino (or her replacement, sometime next year) at the podium saying “It wasn’t US, ya know. It musta been someone else. We weren’t anywhere NEAR the place where that limousine carrying Putin blew up. Next question?”

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That article on the advanced tactical laser brings to mind an old joke…

Q: What’s the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

A: Mechanical engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets.

Badda-da-boomp!